WARNING: If YOU do not have a Will; the STATE OF OHIO “writes” your will for you.
FICTIONAL STATE OF OHIO
LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF LARRY LACKAWILL
I, LARRY LACKAWILL, being of sound mind and body, have chosen not to draft my Last Will and Testament. Accordingly, it is my preference that the State of Ohio determines how my assets shall be distributed upon my death.
I DO NOT WANT TO NAME AN EXECUTOR to handle my affairs. I prefer that those interested in becoming my Executor to each obtain an attorney and file an application with the Court so that the court can hold an evidentiary hearing to determine the best candidate. ($$$$)
I want the Court to require the Executor to POST A BOND, even though a simple Will would have waived this requirement. ($)
I have chosen NOT to list the members of my FAMILY. I want the Court to decide who my heirs are by having a hearing. ($$)
I want the most EXPENSIVE and complicated probate estate possible because I do not want to make an estate plan while I am living.
I do not want to spend a few hundred dollars while I am living to save thousands of dollars in court costs, attorney fees, creditor claims, and expenses after my death. ($$$$)
I give my LOVING WIFE who depended on my financial support only a percentage of my assets and I give my children the remaining percentage even though if they are not dependents.
I make no provisions for my assets to be distributed to my PARTNER. I do not care if the court awards assets to my children who made no financial investments in the assets I shared with my partner.
I make no provisions for my assets to be distributed to my loving STEPCHILDREN.
I want the Court to decide who will be the GUARDIAN of my minor children after holding a hearing. ($$$$)
Section One: If my wife should predecease me while my children are minors, I choose not to exercise my right to nominate a guardian for their care. If the Court determines, it can elect to appoint a total stranger rather than a member of my family.
Section Two: Whomever wins the custody battle, I want the State of Ohio to require them to purchase a performance bond and report annually to the Probate Court with an accounting of how, why, and where the money was spent necessary for the proper care of my children. ($$)
I have chosen not to appoint a trustee to oversee the money for the care of my children.
When my children reach the age of 18, they shall receive their full rights to withdraw and spend their share however they want. No one shall have any right to question my children’s actions on how they decide to spend their respective shares.
I don’t care who gets MY PROPERTY. The Court will distribute my assets to my lineal descendants even if it is a person I never met; a person who is incarcerated, a person with substance abuse problems, or a person who is glad I’m dead since I chose not to DISINHERIT anyone.
I have collected FAMILY HEIRLOOMS during my life; assets that I inherited from my parents and grandparents and I do not want these precious items to go to any one person. The collections can be divided and distributed to all of my descendants.
I have chosen not to make any effort to avoid any DEBTS that I may owe. I would much rather my creditors and the government receive my money than my wife and children.
In WITNESS THEREOF, I have set my hand to this State of Ohio last will and testament on this ____ day of ___________, 2020.